Creative Project

For:  the Institute of Contemporary and Emerging Worship Studies, St. Stephen’s University, Essentials Blue On line Worship theology Course with Dan Wilt.”

For this course, we had to work on a creative worship project.  However, my creative outlets did not really foster a means of posting it online.  I like to make creative visuals with my hands and write creative stories/essays when inspired.  Since this was mostly a music/song writing based class, I did give worship music writing a try.  What I have so far is not even close to what I’m pleased to present.

My apologies to Will and Dan for the delay in posting.  I didn’t anticipate on getting sick the last week of the course and worrying more about my health than this class for a few weeks.  I, unfortunately, only have a chorus with a loose melody in my head for now.  It would take significantly more than 5 weeks for me to complete a full song.

Chorus Lyrics

You bring me laughter in my sorrow

You bring joy in times of pain

I hear your music when the last notes of my day just slip away

You bring me health in times of sickness

You bring me sun in times of rain

I feel you dancing over me with songs of joy

Summing It Up….as opposed to other forms of math (Essentials Blue)

For:  the Institute of Contemporary and Emerging Worship Studies, St. Stephen’s University, Essentials Blue On line Worship theology Course with Dan Wilt.”

These past few weeks of Essentials Blue have flown by.  And I’m not sure I mean that in a good way.

I’ve been a small part of various worship teams since I was in college.  I’ve always done background vocals and always felt like a small part of the team.  I don’t really have the musical training that I would really like.  When I joined the North Jersey Vineyard, I was excited for the opportunity to become involved.  However, I wanted to make sure that my heart was in the right place.  Many times, worship team members have this almost glamorous role in the church because they are in front of everyone.  I wanted to make sure that I was doing it for the right reason.

From the start, I prayed about how I would become involved.  And surprisingly, God led me to join the Hospitality Team first.  Those who know me recognize that I’m a very strong introvert.  Greeting people or talking to strangers does not come easily.  However, I felt strongly about this and joined.  I have had so much fun greeting people my way—not as a group, but one-on-one when single people wander into church.  When the opportunity came to audition for the Worship Team, I knew two things—that I really wanted to be on one particular team (we have three) and that I wanted to learn more about what it meant to be a worship leader.  God answered both of these things affirmatively when I was placed on the desired team (not by request) and the opportunity came to try Essentials Blue.

Essentials Blue was described to me as an online course that would challenge me to think about what it means to be a worship leader and the theology and life style behind it.  I like learning, so I thoght I could handle it.  What I did not realize was how much I would be stretched—from learning about how to make a blog, to Facebook classrooms, widgets, tags, and Itunes media.  I did have some frustrations with the course—mostly because I’m not internet savvy.  I’m proud to even have a Facebook account (which my sister set up for me.)  But to watch media on Itunes, have a blog, and do Facebook classroom was a little overwhelming.  However, I truly enjoyed the material that was covered.  I had never heard of N.T. Wright until I was required to read his book.  Simply Christian is a marvelous book that I’m glad to add to my collection.  The thesis revolved around what he labeled as “echoes” of beauty, justice, relationships and spirituality were excellently laid out.  We can often recognize that something is missing in our lives, but labeling this nebulous anti-feeling can be difficult.  I also enjoyed how he encouraged worship to be more than just the songs—but the sacraments and the Scriptures as well.  He placed a nice caveat that what we do is not nearly as important as the heart behind it.

I was just OK with the articles.  I sometimes felt that they had wonderful things to say.  But most of the time, it had that infamous “busywork” feel that I used to have in college.  I also felt that required responses to classroom discussion and reading through well trafficed blogs was busywork as well.  I have found some amazing material on lesser known blogs that was well worth my time, and what felt like drivel on more popular blogs.  The videos and course text book were excellent as well.  Sometimes it felt redundant to have the same material covered in both, but if nothing else, the main themes were always evident.

I realize as I have learned more about worship, that perhaps there was some spiritual war fare surrounding my learning.  I didn’t think that this type of education would really worry Satan.  But these past few weeks have been extremely tense for me at work and in my social life.  I have felt more overwhelmed than I have in quite awhile.  It was frustrating to me to not be able to pinpoint why life seemed to be so overwhelming.  I had nightmares, trouble sleeping, and nonstop work stress.  I’m thankful for my stable relationships that have sustained me through this time.  Was it Satan?  I’m not 100% sure.  But it’s awfully coincidental.

The final week of this class involves making a creative project.  This is going to be a challenge.  I’m not a song writer.  I don’t consider myself a musician.  I love to write creatively (but not on demand), I love to sing, and I love spending time with those I love.  How one creates a worship project from that, I’m not sure.  I’m fluctuating between writing an essay or attempting to write a song.  We’ll see what the next week brings.  How anyone can create on command boggles my mind, just a bit.

I think I’m going to keep my blog for now.  Who knows if there might not be something spiritually significant that I might want to share.  Plus, I would like to take the Essentials Green and Red course at a later time.  This time I’ll be read.  I know how to use Itunes U and Word Press.  (Go me!)  Currently, I don’t think I could take the stress that these last few weeks have been again.  Our life groups are starting up again at church, so I shall try resting in that for the next few weeks.

For those of you who have followed along on this journey, thanks for your feedback.  It’s been great hearing from friends and long lost connections about something as meaningful as worship.

Grace and Peace.

Worship Philosophy (Essentials Blue)

For:  the Institute of Contemporary and Emerging Worship Studies, St. Stephen’s University, Essentials Blue On line Worship theology Course with Dan Wilt.”

This course has been a whirlwind of great information—maybe too much good material in too little available time.  Our classroom assignment for this week was to provide a worship philosophy that we have synthesized from what we have learned.  Here’s what I created. 

Worship Philosophy

Every person within our church community, whether a believer or not, must recognize that he/she has a theology.[1]  Theology is not an esoteric study, but our attempts to understand/know God.  These ideas then shape how we live as a community and how we interact with our families, friends, and strangers.  Because we are Imago Dei, each of us individually reflects different aspects of God.  For this reason, we need each other to fully embrace the palette of God.

As humans, because we were made for God’s pleasure, we long for the same things.  We long for beauty in an ugly world, justice for life’s unfairness, spirituality or something beyond what we obtain from our senses, and unbroken relationships.[2]  At the creation of the world, we had the beauty, justice, spirituality, and perfect relationships.  When we chose to walk away from our God, we tore ourselves away from perfection and still feel the jagged pieces scraping at our souls.  God continued to desire us in spite of this and sent Jesus to die for our sins and to defeat death and sin through his resurrection.  The coming of Jesus is when the Kingdom of God penetrated our broken world again. 

God’s Kingdom is Eden.  Where he dwells, there is no pain or sorrow.  All is perfect.  It is a resolution of all of our longings. For now, bits and pieces of His Kingdom break through into our everyday life.  We live in an overlap of our debilitating world and perfect creation.  We long for a day when we will be with Christ, be like Christ, be given all that we desire because we will only desire good things, and reign over a new heaven and a new Earth.[3]  Believers must understand that God will not destroy this present world.  He will renew it and he has called us to do that with him.    

We must recognize that worship is not a song set, a set of sacraments, or particular passages from Scripture.  It is a heart that is responding to the all consuming love of God towards us.  God loves us first, pursued us, and gave us the means to return to him.  With that in mind, there are infinite ways that we can worship.  We can worship corporately through songs.  We can worship individually through prayers.  We can worship as a community through service acts.  We can worship while doing every day activities.  Chapter 13 of 1 Corinthians makes it clear that the actual actions are not worship or acts of love by themselves.  The position of our hearts is central to worship, not the actual acts we do.[4]  In addition, because worship is a response, it is not to be done only when I’m feeling excited about Jesus.  It is done in all seasons of my life, both beautiful and difficult.       

My job as a worship leader and artisan is to create a space where people can meet God.[5]  I have been given the tools of music, Scriptures and the sacraments.  I cannot know the daily concerns or real problems in each person’s life in my church community.  But I worship a God who knows all these things and can use my offerings to change individual lives.  In responding to my God, my life is also changed.   

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[1] Dan Wilt, Online Course Text for Essentials Blue: Online Studies In Worship Theology and Biblical Worldview: Introduction  (New Brunswick: The Institute of Contemporary And Emerging Worship Studies), www.theworshipartisan.com

 [2] N.T. Wright, Simply Christian:  Why Christianity Makes Sense (New York: HarperOne, 2006), 1-53. 

 [3] Don Williams, “Worship Fit for a King,” Inside Worship, 44 (Summer 2001), 4-5. 

 [4] Dan Wilt, Online Course Text for Essentials Blue: Online Studies In Worship Theology and Biblical Worldview: The Nature of Worship  (New Brunswick: The Institute of Contemporary And Emerging Worship Studies), www.theworshipartisan.com

 [5] Dan Wilt, Online Course Text for Essentials Blue: Online Studies In Worship Theology and Biblical Worldview: The Nature of God  (New Brunswick: The Institute of Contemporary And Emerging Worship Studies), www.theworshipartisan.com

Spiritual Alzheimer’s (Essentials Blue)

For:  the Institute of Contemporary and Emerging Worship Studies, St. Stephen’s University, Essentials Blue On line Worship theology Course with Dan Wilt.”

It’s been one of those weeks. The kind where I just can’t seem to get enough good rest. Where I’m acutely feeling this sense of disconnect that things are not right in the world. That I’m overwhelmed by the normal complexities of my life.  That I’m stressed about having Christian themed homework.  

As I lament over my miserable week, I realize that it’s kind of what this week’s lessons have been about. What does it mean to be human? Dan Wright comments that we gain our identities from the reflections of others. This can obviously have some good and bad aspects to this.  I, unfortunately, have been feeling the burn of the poor reflections on myself. I’m also recognizing that the negative reactions I’m garnering from others are reflections of miserable things happening in their life as well.

As a caveat, I need to mention that the people who are reflecting negatively on me are not supremely important people in my life.  They are co-workers, clients, and my equivalent of the Soup Nazi at my local store.  They are not the people who mean the world to me like my baby sister, my best friend (and boyfriend), and the rest of my family.

The main themes for this week were how we as humans reflect God as Creator, King, Community and Savior. Dan Wilt begins with humans as subcreators. Due to my negative outlook on life this week, I focused more on the brokenness of this aspect. I have seen in the church that art (I use the term loosely) is rarely welcomed into the church. I have also seen immense creativity that people feel reflect them rather the God who gave them abilities.

Because God is King, we bear his image. We are his stewards and care takers in a world that he has created. I am reminded that first, I am a reflection of a God who finds value in human beings. I have not been feeling very valued this week, so I’m having trouble embracing this concept. I need to remind myself that identity comes from God, not from the people around us.

Next, knowing that our God is relational, I need to reflect God as a community builder. As a worship leader, my job is to create a space where people can meet with God. I don’t have to energize them or give false emotions; however, I do need to create a strong sense of “we” and not individual encounters with God.[1] I’m not really sure how to do this. One of the articles this week argues that we sing in church because it brings a sense of “we” into the church community.[2] But I often see a very “Jesus and me” attitude in worship singing.  So how do I overcome this to embrace community? I’m still wrestling with this.

At the end of this past year, one of my best friends asked me what I felt I had learned about God in 2008. The word that came to mind was talent.  I’ve been coming back to the parable of the talents and realizing how we are given abilities, gifts, personalities, and stuff by God. But how we invest it makes the difference of its value in our life. Though I may not feel value in my life currently, that does not give me the excuse to go hide under a rock. Yes, I can choose to not use my gifts for a period of time. But God will hold me accountable if I never use them for a lifetime and give them back to him unused.[3]

Finally, because God is Savior, I need to be a story teller to the goodness of God. I’m challenged at the concept that we humans so easily forget.[4] While I’m down in the dumps this week, I’m having a hard time embracing the idea that I can tell others about the goodness of God.  However, God does not call us to reflect him only in the good times.  I must embrace him, worship him, when things are great in my life and when things are not-so-great. N.T. Wright referenced Habakkuk 3:17-18 in one recorded message:

Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,

18 yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.

I need to work hard to not forget.

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[1] Dan Wilt, Online Course Text for Essentials Blue: Online Studies In Worship Theology and Biblical Worldview (New Brunswick: The Institute of Contemporary And Emerging Worship Studies), www.theworshipartisan.com[

2] Dan Wilt, “Exploring our Roots: The Contemporary Worship Movement, “ Inside Worship (Special Edition).

[3] Matthew 25: 14-28

[4] Dan Wilt, Online Course Text for Essentials Blue: Online Studies In Worship Theology and Biblical Worldview (New Brunswick: The Institute of Contemporary And Emerging Worship Studies), www.theworshipartisan.com

Bumper Stickers for Christ (Essentials Blue)

For:  the Institute of Contemporary and Emerging Worship Studies, St. Stephen’s University, Essentials Blue On line Worship theology Course with Dan Wilt.”

I’ve just returned from Orlando today— where tourism and a Mouse are king. While stuck in traffic, I’ve been reading bumper stickers. Many are political, many are funny, and some are Christian. You know those bumper stickers. The ones that really annoy me:

No Jesus, No Peace. Know Jesus, Know Peace

God is my Co-Pilot

In case of rapture, this vehicle will be unoccupied

Jesus Is The Answer

All of these are pithy sayings that if really analyzed, may make you want to reconsider putting them on your car.

This week we’ve been studying about the Nature of God. It’s a vast topic where we seemed to skim the deep end and still come up with more material than can really be synthesized. So I’ll touch on a few things that poked me in the eye this week.

When Jesus came, He spoke about the Kingdom of God. I was struck by how this phrase was really significant to the Jewish Culture at that time. But today, that phrase is just part of our “Christianese.” We use it in casual conversation at church and forget how a co-worker would look at us like we had four heads if we used the phrase at work.

Second, in dabbling in this material, I am reminded about the vastness of God. The sheer amount of material that there is to know about God can overwhelm, and I realize that there is still so much we don’t know. Summing him up as a Co-Pilot seems ridiculous.

Some new material that has challenged me is the Trinitarian Nature of God. I forget that he is in relationship with himself and that he longs to share that perfection with us. I need to begin to have a better understanding of the three persons of the Trinity and reflect that in my worship. Too many times, we sings “It’s all About Jesus” and forget about God the Father or the Holy Spirit.[1]

I’m also reminded that Christianity is not about us seeking God, but God seeking us. He desires us, seeks a covenant relationship with us, and provides means to be in relationship with him. I may press into him and attempt to know him more, but I am responding to a call and not initiating.[2] I am reminded of the quote from the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe where Mr. Beaver says, “They say Aslan is on the move-perhaps has already landed.” The children in this story were on an adventure, but not of their own initiative.[3]

I was also carefully reminded that Heaven is not some end point. It’s not a place that I get to go to because I believe in Jesus. It’s not some reward for making the right choices in life. It’s a redeemed Earth created by the church working with God. In others words, it’s this life, only better.[4] I think it’s Best Buy that has a tagline—You. Only Happier. The phrase kind of depresses me and requires an entire discussion on satisfaction in life. But it parallels the message I’m trying to convey.

So how does this reflect in my worship leading? Because God is the seeker, my role as a worship leader is to create an area where people can meet God. I like how Dan Wilt reminds us that we are not aerobics instructors trying to get people excited about God. We only create the environment where God can meet us.[5] I have a huge responsibility to ensure that the material I present provides a balanced view of God.[6] As a very prominent part of the worship experience, I have the frightening ability to shape other worshiper’s theology. I cannot take that responsibility lightly.[7] Finally, I’m reminded that worshipping is not only about music. Because worship is about partnering with God, I must be actively involved in my church community. This involves not only music ministry, but being a part of small groups, attending services, and doing outreach ministries as well.[8] Finally, I’m challenged to be relevant. Just as Jesus used phrases to connect with his culture and his time, I, too, must connect with my culture today. I’m still wrestling with what that looks like. Falling back on catch phrases is not the answer.

But Jesus is.

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[1] Eddie Gibbs, “Time in a Bottle: Reflections on Worship, “ Inside worship, 60 (October 2006), 8-10.

[2] N.T. Wright, Simply Christian: Why Christianity Makes Sense (New York: HarperOne, 2006), 55-69.

[3] C.S. Lewis, The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe (New York: Collier Books, 1950), 64.

[4] N.T. Wright, Simply Christian: Why Christianity Makes Sense (New York: HarperOne, 2006), 91-119.

[5] Dan Wilt, Online Course Text for Essentials Blue: Online Studies In Worship Theology and Biblical Worldview (New Brunswick: The Institute of Contemporary And Emerging Worship Studies), www.theworshipartisan.com

[6] Eddie Gibbs, “Time in a Bottle: Reflections on Worship, “ Inside worship, 60 (October 2006), 8-10.

[7] Berten Waggoner, “Leading Trinitarian Worship, “Inside Worship, 52 (February 2004), 4-6.

[8] Dan Wilt, Online Course Text for Essentials Blue: Online Studies In Worship Theology and Biblical Worldview (New Brunswick: The Institute of Contemporary And Emerging Worship Studies), www.theworshipartisan.com

What does it mean to be a worship leader? (Essentials Blue)

For:  the Institute of Contemporary and Emerging Worship Studies, St. Stephen’s University, Essentials Blue On line Worship theology Course with Dan Wilt.”

I’m still having a hard time seeing myself as a worship artisan. My wobbly journey into worship music began with singing in the shower. I love to sing. It creates a pleasant ache in my soul and is best expressed with one of my favorite quotes from the Chariots of Fire, “When I [sing], I feel [God’s] pleasure.

Growing up in a very traditional church, we only sang hymns. Though they were beautiful, the younger me failed to appreciate them because they were not culturally relevant to me. I started finding myself exploring the genre of Christian music. For awhile, I consciously chose to only listen to it rather than secular music. But I always felt like I was drinking a cheap wine when something better could be enjoyed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-NOZU2iPA8

I’m thankful, that like wine, I’ve gotten better with age. I have gently meandered away from the Christian pop scene and returned to secular music. I have come to enjoy what I feel is better quality music, even if the message is not Christian. I have also learned that many songs can reflect what N.T. Wright refers to as “echoes of a voice” in Simply Christian. These voices include a longing for justice, spirituality, relationships, and beauty.[1] I have seen that a negative message that a band may have intended to say can be redeemed. One of the most romantic things my boyfriend ever told me was how a very angry, at first glance, dangerous sounding song challenged him to pursue me.

I also find that I’m returning to my old church heritage of truly enjoying old hymns and seeing how they can be retooled to fit into contemporary worship that I currently participate within.

Besides becoming more comfortable in my own skin, I also found the joy of joining in Christian community. In my younger days, church was a building that I had to visit twice a week. We were old school. We had Wednesday night church as well. As my Christian journey changed, I wandered away from a faith that failed to be relevant in my life. I felt the displeasure of Christians when I failed to think like they did. And I told God that if this is what it meant to be a Christian, I had some expletives coming his way.

But God, in his patience and overwhelming love for me, did not let me off the handle that easily. He eventually called me back to him. It took baby steps for me to first join a parachurch organization associated with school (http://www.crossroadslifecenter.org). Then I finally started attending a church, and eventually joined the Altaer Community when I moved to LA. (http://alter607.com.) My heart is eternally grateful to the friends who demonstrated Christ’s love to me and encouraged to be active in this community. I now currently live in the New York City suburbs. I am happy to say that I have joined another church community that allows me to serve in various faculties—including one of the worship teams. (http://www.northjerseyvineyard.org)

One of my goals for joining worship at this church was to learn more about worship and what it means to be a leader in this area. I feel that this class is one answer from God. What I have gleaned this week is that the language that God uses to speak with me (music) can be used to reach others outside the church.[2] Before, I have thought of theology as something that only church scholars wrestled over. Now I see that all of us have a theology whether we think we do or not.[3] As God’s servants, we must work hard to reclaim the story of God interacting with us.[4] Too many people hear the word Christians and cringe. They do not associate us with the same positive glow that they have when they hear the name of Jesus.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YztvjePz0uk

I’m now challenged more than ever to dive into Bible study. I need to have a better foundation for evaluating what I hear in music. I need to understand and be able to explain the imagery that can be referenced in songs. I need to positively critique worship expression and be able to critique myself. Most importantly, I need to cultivate my relationship with God.[5]

I’m excited to be taking this course. It’s a tiny bit overwhelming for this rather computer illiterate person. I’m proud of myself for even having a Facebook account, let alone a blog. Itunes University, where much of my course material lives, scares me and I have yet to figure out what a widget is. But I’m eager to dive into this material and prepared to hear God.

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[1] N.T. Wright, Simply Christian: Why Christianity Makes Sense (New York: HarperOne, 2006), 1-53.

[2] Dan Wilt, “Sacred Creativity: Living Creatively in the Image of God,” Inside Worship, 50 (June 2003), 8-10.

[3] Dan Wilt, Online Course Text for Essentials Blue: Online Studies In Worship Theology and Biblical Worldview (New Brunswick: The Institute of Contemporary And Emerging Worship Studies), www.theworshipartisan.com

[4] N.T. Wright, “The Creation Integration: Recovering Biblical Worship,” Inside Worship, 50 (June 2003), 6-7.

[5] Peter Davids, “Deeper: Theological Insights For Modern Worship Leaders, “ Inside Worship, 48 (October 2002), 8-9.

A Learning Experience

Originally, I created this blog as a homework assignment.  I’m not 100% comfortable with it.  However, it’s meant to be a tool to share my thoughts from my new worship course.  So I’m going to take baby steps to get under way.  I’m inviting fellow believers to check in periodically.  I want your thoughts, your criticisms, your challenges on what I say.  For this to be a real learning experience, I have to open myself up to others.  As an introvert, this goes against my very nature.  The first course I’m taking will only be 5 weeks long.  But if all goes well, I’ll sign up for others as well.

Blogito Ergo Sum

I’m not a blogger.  I barely have time to finish

my emails, let alone write mini-life essays that

very few people will read.  But now I’m taking

a worship course that requires that we have a

blog.  So here it is.  I’ll start looking assignments

now that I’ve finally figured out how to even

start this thing.  Cheers.